Love.

Perfectly flawed.

Soberly drunk.

A civilized junkie.

Mannered wild.

Peacefully violent.

Wisely foolish.

Modestly fierce.

A noble psychopath.

Gracefully incomplete.

~ Love is that book which i had just finished previous night and would still score zero today in its exam.

LOVE. A subject which is unknown to me. She taught me what love is. She was my teacher. She taught me everything she knew herself. Despite all the efforts I failed. We failed. I guess she too didn’t know the subject completely.

New relationship. I changed the teacher. I had to. I was too curious to know about this subject. This subject of love. The new teacher had her own ways of teaching. New ideas, new philosophy and new methods. Sometimes her methods conflicted with my previous knowledge and sometimes she would admire in disbelief about how I knew so much about the subject. But she would always give me zero in tests. She would say I didn’t do it the way she had taught me.

Break up. Again. What’s the point of studying with the same teacher when you aren’t scoring anything continuously. I needed to change my methods of studying. But I didn’t drop the subject. Love, as it always was, remained my interest. Something which I wanted to explore.

I changed many teachers and everyone taught me in their own unique ways which were unknown to me and I found them amazing. They would teach me everything they know themselves and I would always put my whole heart in learning them. Yet, I was never able to cross the zero mark.

This all kept going until finally I met someone after which I never had to worry about my marks no matter what. She never took any test. She just taught me what she could and taught me enough. She wasn’t just a teacher, she was a student. She learned from me and always accepted me. She made me realize it wasn’t about the teacher but it was all about the subject. It wasn’t about the marks, it was about the learning. When I was with her, I felt thankful for all the teachers who had taught me and shaped me into the person I was. She wasn’t just a teacher, she was love herself. I thought I would never have to change my teacher again. I was wrong.

Life happened. And today, I am here. With a new teacher. Tomorrow is my exam. And I know what would the result be. But it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I just focus on my learning now. I just focus on love. I have finished every book, gone through each page of my class notes and revised all the new methods which she had taught me. But that will be of no use because I am going to score zero tomorrow.